YSaturday, April 08, 2006
this song rocks!! hahaha!! sooo...real. hm.
got the uniforms this mornin and it was really a mess havin to settle the stuffs.
never had so many knives before in a bag too! haha. COOLNESS.
im goin to SENTOSA baby!! woohooooo!!!!! HEHE.
FIRST, i gota do shoppin fer clothes. oh no.
need lotsa long sleeves and shirts and a new suit!
TSK.
SO. i've decided...to GET A JOB.
im gona be dead busy doin lotsa stuffs wit so many other commitments.
but who cares?! i don't. im soooo sick of bein too free that i feel like i need to be stressed and stretched so, YEAH im asking for it.*winkz*
i wana have sleepless nites and overdose on caffeine and complain to ppl how tired i am...HEHEHEE...
Erwin is leaving..this monday. goodness im gona miss him like really2 miss him. still feelin super guilty fer snapping at him two nights ago. hmm...but we are cool~~. in HIS terms that is.hehe.
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i hate depression and i just simply loathe the word depressed or sad or hurt or pain or hollow or empty or solitude. these words belongs to one category..
cynical.
cuz ur crazy if u get all this feelins all at once. and u'll be more than insanely demented to let it happen to you. cuz i realised one thing. when u get all those feelins..ur just gona be dumbed and pissed and even more depressed than depressed. and all the bad things that happens to u will be seen and the good things forsaken.
can't you see how sickening it is to let it happen?
i faced it and i saw.and the last thing i want is for that to happen again. i dun wana go thru that phase cuz i've hurt the people who care for me. im not gona guarantee that there won't be any sequel to the breakdown. BUT im gona try to avoid it.facing my problems just like everyone else. dealing it wit clear conscience and as rational, as simple wit the least emotions..TRYING as far as i can go to avoid this.
im so SICK of being complicated.i want the simple life. where everything is so clear-cut and happiness is so bright, picture perfect and long-term.
i wana get off this ever twisting rollercoaster ride and hop on to another one. where the turns are visible and aniticipated. im through wit abrupt twists and turns. im exhausted but im gona face this. cuz no matter how tough life is for me.
it's tougher for others out there. NO DOUBT.
there's so many things out there that's within reach..but as i read back..all these things that i long for in life are beyond grasp. i cant even smell this. HAHA.
and to think that i want to have a simple life..?
HMMMMM.....................hahahahahahahahhaha
_callous_ was here with you at
